Home for the Holidays
Timothy Corbitt, MSW, LCSW, Director of Counseling and Wellness Center
Central Connecticut State University

It's that time of the year when families come together to count their blessings and celebrate their faiths. It is also a time of stress and, especially for parents of college students, a time when relationships are put to the test.

The college years are a time of transition for all members of a family, not just the student. As a student moves toward greater independence, family rules and customs are often times challenged. According to Karen Engwall of the CCSU Counseling and Wellness Center, “Learning to be independent, to set limits, and to deal with consequences are some of the biggest adjustment issues our students face.” When a student returns home for the holidays, he or she may have certain expectations--to catch up with friends, to socialize away from the house, and so on. Students have also grown accustomed to arranging their own schedules, without having to answer to parents. Upon returning home, the student is thrown back together with his or her parents and will confront a different set of expectations and perhaps new ground rules. Students will need to realize that their parents will probably want to have a say in their nocturnal activities, and may have certain other guidelines to follow. Ms. Engwall offers some useful advice in this regard, “The word ‘compromise’ comes to mind immediately. Perhaps the student has outgrown curfews, but she could at least call home to let her parents know where she is and when she will be home. Attempt to be flexible, and ask other family members to try to adapt in return.”

Parents may need to remember that their child is growing up and is now used to living a fairly independent lifestyle. Communicating clear expectations, up front, can help prevent needless arguments and hurt feelings.

The Counseling and Wellness Center at Central Connecticut State University is available to all CCSU students, free of charge; it provides supportive counseling and resources that may be helpful during this stressful time of year. It is important to remember, no matter who you are, that we are all in this holiday season together and that it is not uncommon to feel sad, anxious, or depressed during this time of year. It is especially important to stay connected with one’s support system. According to Dr. Michael Terezakis of the Counseling and Wellness Center, “Attending to a balance of the mental, physical, and spiritual needs of the student is essential. Holidays are a time for rest and acknowledging steps made along the path toward responsibility for one’s happiness.” Indeed, this is a time to celebrate growth and accomplishment in many areas of life.

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